Why
Enjoy
DIY
Delegate
Ignore
Numbers
Gratitude
Why
Ask why all the time! As soon as you say the word ‘wedding’, prices quadruple, and the world seems to surround you with things you can buy and pay for that would ‘be just perfect’, when in fact you had never even thought of them and have zero interest in them. Save the dosh and do it your way! Examples of stuff that people tried to sell us:
- Red carpet for.a.public.beach.wedding!
- Sound system for the beach ceremony. We almost bought into this because the company were adamant that we wouldn't be able to hear each other during the ceremony. Luckily we went down to the beach and experimented with sound, which made us realise it would all be audible (Thanks priests Jorge & Ryan!). Had we gone with the idea, we would have ended up sounding like a dodgy church!
- Portuguese beaches have concessionaires who are responsible for the little cafés and life guards on the beach. It's only natural that they see you wanting to get married on the beach and try to get you to pay for a private spot on a public beach. This is fine if you want ‘your’ area to be sealed off and safe from passers by. However, we love the idea that beaches are free and open to everyone and so did not want to create artificial barriers. This was fabulous on the day, as our group became surrounded by strangers who smiled and shouted words of love and encouragement.
Enjoy
Don't be a control freak. Take it easy! It is your wedding day and that has a different meaning to every person; for me and D it was all about throwing a party to celebrate love and show our gratitude towards our family and friends. As a result, we had nothing to worry about!
DIY
Do what you want to do and do it yourself (if that's what you want to do). Here are some things we did ourselves:
- Gifts - I learned the basics of sewing with long distance help from my friend Jona and decided to create little sachets filled with lavender from my grandparents’ garden. This was a way of giving it a personal touch and including my grandparents and their marvellous garden more.
- Choreography - In our case, we wanted to surprise our guests with a silly fun dance choreography. So we got in touch with a dance school Fujairah School of Arts and designed a choreography with a couple of awesome teachers (Thanks Danny & Andrea!), using a compilation we made (Thanks for mixing, Pedro!).
- Photography - We looked at no budgets… instead we had 50 honorary photographers for the day! All our guests took photos, and put them onto a Dropbox folder. As a result, we got the most incredible photos, because personal touches and artistic inspirations were all there. D and I then sat down and selected some photos, which D patiently put into an online album. We got it printed out and voila, we have a stunning photo album of our wedding (currently travelling with friends so they can see). As a thank you, we printed out a few photos of each guest and sent them their way, with a thank you note. We did this while on honeymoon - Great to think back to the day!
- Decorations - My mum is a crochet ninja (Obrigada, mommy!) and created the most amazing bits and pieces for the wedding, as you can see in the photos (bouquet, table pieces, sandals, gloves, flowers and string for sachets). My friend Nela also created something very special: a few boxes for people to write in (Where they see us in a year`s sime, where they see us in 10 years' time, and advice). The seating plan was also homemade - I used an IKEA blackboard and because we love food, each table was a flavour.
- Vows - Write your own wedding vows and share them with a friend you both trust, if you want the vows to be a surprise to your partner (Thanks Ryan!). Don’t be afraid to dig deep inside you. Again, remember it is your chance to tell your world why you want to marry this person and also to thank them for being in your life.
- Games - Definitely the best way to get shy people to interact! We supported the Portuguese charity Operacao Nariz Vermelho, who dress up as clown nurses and doctors and cheer up children in hospitals. We did this by buying their clown noses and inserting a bilingual 'find the person who...'. People got to know each other better and had fun!
Delegate
It might seem contradictory after I told you to DIY, nevertheless you must delegate! Delegating still give you more time to enjoy and you'll be surprised how happy you'll make close friends and family by giving them important roles. A random example of delegation without even delegating was my best women's dresses. They decided what to wear together and surprised us too. Zu & Raquel Tree Rock!
My favourite example of delegation at our wedding, was the cake making. We visited Sandie & Luis about a year before the wedding, and Sandie offered to make the cake. We couldn't believe it, but she insisted and ask what we would like. A surprise, we both said! And what a surprise it was. The most beautiful and delicious cake ever to be seen and eaten at a wedding. Thank you Sandie for baking and Luis for all the sous chef hard work!
Ignore
Ignore most of the advice you get. Just like with having babies, people think that because they’ve been there, they know exactly what needs to happen, and they are sometimes even right, but if you genuinely want something else you need to do it your way. This is your chance to get it all your way. How sweet is that?
I remember having this obsession with Lenços dos namorados, a Portuguese tradition of embroidery. I had a feeling it might not quite suit my dress, but deep down inside I still wanted to have them on my dress. In fact I wanted it so badly that the feeling overflowed, so I was obviously saddened by one of my best friend’s advice against it. And she justified her logic perfectly; the dress already had some embroideries and twinkles and so it would be a bit out of sync with itself. I thanked her and appreciated she might be aesthetically right, but I had to do it my way. Don’t regret it, just wish I could wear the dress every now and then!
Another piece of advice I got from several people was to get professional make up done. Make up? If you never wear make up, why go all dollie on your wedding day? I would recommend purchasing some make up you love, but keeping youself looking like yourself.
Numbers
Keep the numbers to a minimum. Think about it for 20 seconds: how many people would you like at your wedding? Right, I mean less than that! This was the hardest of all decisions to stick to, because friends and family are always linked to someone else you would like to share the day with. However, there's only that many people you can actually engage in conversation with in one afternoon/evening!
Gratitude
Be grateful in everything you do. The day is about you and your loved one, you are who you are thanks to the marvellous people around you. We were fortunate enough to marry on paper a few days before the beach wedding and decided to only have our parents there. This was their moment. D and I prepared a BBQ and our parents were able to sit back, relax and get to know each other better. We decided to do this because we wanted to share quality time with our parents, who have taught us so much.
